


Ready to Be Saved

by LavenderLightz



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, M/M, Mild Language, Past Character Death, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 16:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderLightz/pseuds/LavenderLightz
Summary: At first glance, most people saw Dr. Nico Kim as this super confident, macho, resilient guy, but he wasn't always that way.Nico centric fic with some much needed backstory.





	Ready to Be Saved

_Shit._  
_Shit…_  
_Shit!_  
  
_This is such a fucking shit feeling._  
  
It just isn’t fair. So much time has passed, and it never gets easier. In his mind he keeps replaying what people have told him, “This will fade. It will all be okay. You will be okay again,” but Nico knows better. These days, time just seems to encourage memories to linger around him like an ominous cloud of unfulfilled promises.  
  
I mean, sure he’s come a long way from who he once was. He never thought it was possible before, but here he was actually thriving. He’s worked his ass off to get to where he is. He’s an “Ortho God” for crying out loud! All those years of sacrifice and hard work meant something. Hell, he had to admit even his monthly therapy sessions were helping, but there was still something in him that kept him from being truly happy.  
  
Ah, _happiness_.  
  
The concept felt so foreign, but in his heart, Nico wants it more than anything. He knows that he deserves it - to be irrevocably, insanely happy. To belong. He came into Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital confidently, with a good head on his shoulders and a new lease on life.  
  
At the end of the day he’s just Nico and that suits him fine. Now, if only _everyone_ in his life felt that way…  
  
At that thought, Nico frowns suddenly and lets out a breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding in, a churning deep in the pit of his stomach starts to take over. Frustrated with himself, he fights back the tears that are threatening to fall, “get it together dude,” he mutters.  
  
He needs to move on. He has to, there is no other option.  
  
He’s gone. He’s dead and no matter how hard he beats himself up about it, he’s never coming back.  
  
What really gets him though is that he never got the chance to say how he really felt. Despite everything - all the hurt, confusion and misunderstandings, he loved him. He still loved him and always would.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Mian, Appa.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Jessie Reyez’s song, “Great One”
> 
> I used google translate for the last line of this chapter. It’s Korean and is meant to say, “I’m sorry Dad.”
> 
> This is my first fic ever! Let me know if I should keep this going :)


End file.
